Family has a great influence on children’s development, but the influence from outside of home plays a bigger part in children’s life. Do you agree or disagree?
题目分析：
Type: Opinion (disagree)
Body 1: Outside influence play a significant role in shaping who we are
Body 2: Early childhood socialization, specifically the first three to five years of life
Opinion essays can be tackled in 2 ways:
The first method is to simply agree or disagree and write about why you agree or disagree. This means your essay could focus entirely on one side of the argument, but in doing so, you will need to show why your argument is stronger than the other side (meaning you will still refer at some point to the other side).
The other method is to ‘treat’ it like a discussion essay, whereby in body 1 you discuss one of the arguments (the side you disagree with or the side that is less ‘powerful’ in your essay), and in body 2, the argument that you most favor or agree with.
In this essay, I am using the second method.
- Model Answer 高分范文 & 范文朗读 -
-- Essay Analysis 范文解析 --
-- (1) Introduction --
Items to note about this introduction:
1) I understand the statement is an opinion (not a fact), and so my paraphrasing of the opinion is done in order to fit my opinion and my structure of the essay. This means I have paraphrased the statement to suit my opinion, rather than the opinion in the statement. Conversely, I could have started with “There are those who think...; however, I believe...”
2) Consequently, I change the order of the 2 aspects of the opinion, with ‘external’ first and ‘family’ second, since I believe ‘family’ has a greater impact.
3) Normally, we use the phrase “in my opinion”, but here, I use the phrase “it seems clear that”. This phrase clearly demonstrates that my opinion is being given. I will be sure, however, to use the phrase “I believe” or “I think” or “in my opinion” in the conclusion.
4) I am not going to worry about paraphrasing ‘family’, as there simply is no better word to use.
5) I use ‘the family’ instead of just saying ‘family’, as I am turning the noun into a concept.
Paraphrasing from the Statement/Question:
a great influence on = a significant role in
children’s development = a child’s growth
influence from outside of the home = external influences
a bigger part = an even greater effect on
Standard Phrase for the “Opinion” type of essay:
There is no doubt that
; however, it seems clear that
Words showing Cohesion (C&C):
; however,
-- (2) Body 1 --
Aspects that must be referred to:
the influence from outside of home
